Guns, Democrats, and Republicans
Blogger True Blue at site Blue Flypaper posts the following:
I have a little joke for you today that I received from a liberal friend:
How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a middle eastern looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Democrat’s Answer:
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he’d be happy with killing just me, and not my family? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint-and-weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican’s Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Republican’s Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!…click…(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!…click
Update: A commenter at the Blue Flypaper clarifies:
Actually, the Glock .40 cal. magazine holds 15 shots (only one less than 9mm), so the real answer is -
“BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!” (Sound of reloading)
“BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!”
September 24th, 2005 at 11:13 pm
That also tells us that Southern Republicans are lousy shots. Or impotent. Take your pick.
September 30th, 2005 at 9:26 pm
Carnival of Cordite #32
Welcome, readers! It is time once again for the Carnival of Cordite, a weekly round-up of blog posts on the topics of guns, shooting, the Second Amendment, self-defense, hunting, and more. If this is your first time visiting, please check
October 1st, 2005 at 8:49 am
There is another part to the Southerners’ story
“Nice grouping daddy!”
October 1st, 2005 at 10:48 am
Southerners are not bad shots, just thorough.
October 2nd, 2005 at 7:54 am
There is another category, Southern Democrats. There are at least two of us, Zell Miller and me. We would have already bombed the neighborhood from the air.
October 4th, 2005 at 10:59 am
I real Southern Republican would be carrying a .45 and would only need one shot.
October 9th, 2005 at 12:40 pm
If anybody thinks that this joke paints an unfair picture of liberals,
this law professor seems to think that one should not shoot carjackers because you never know if the carjacker might be a really nice guy who just needs to get his pregnant wife to the hospital. Sigh.
August 2nd, 2006 at 4:13 pm
This HAD to be writen by REPUBLICANS. I’m a Democrat. My response would be BANG, BANG, BANG. I always use the three shot pattern. I’m also a MARINE…
August 2nd, 2006 at 8:09 pm
Mike,
Since you are a Marine, you can shoot however you want to. In fact, it is even okay if you are a Democrat.